I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
