I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
