i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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