Got a toothbrush?
I'm going to jail i love you
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just cropdusted the office
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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