Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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