My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
