so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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