can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
