i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
