bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
