Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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