Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
