I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize