HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
