Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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