you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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