Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You pole danced in your parka.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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