what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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