so that wasnt chicken after all
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
