I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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