College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
