...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I did not marry a roomba.
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