dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
