he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I party with great urgency now.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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