He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
