allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he was CRYING into my vagina
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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