My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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