Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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