The brown eye won't let me do that either.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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