But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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