That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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