put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
