Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
