So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Im part way to drunk.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
