I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
