just come out here and I will go home with you...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
