all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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