so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
