Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
operation have a gay friend backfired
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
