I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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