Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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