So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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