Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
