Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
