Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
