i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
