You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
