some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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