grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
