Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

you're drinking in the law library????

(978): View more from Massachusetts

...not a bad idea....

(508): View more from Massachusetts

probably not a good idea either.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.

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(562): View more from California

I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff

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(602): View more from Arizona

Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...

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(303): View more from Colorado

theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...

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(517): View more from Michigan

The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came

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(703): View more from Virginia

just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?

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(815): View more from Illinois

I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.

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(815): View more from Illinois

being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check

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