All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize