Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
