omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
