Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I understand Curling. That high.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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