No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
