Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
