I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
