White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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