like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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