why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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