Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
