he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
