At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
