the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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