Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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