turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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