Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
