Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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