i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
