lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
