my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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