There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
