Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
