Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
