so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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