Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
