Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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