I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
