I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
