Having a random hookup so left but love u
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
