You're my little dorito
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
