It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
