saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
