Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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