i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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